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Madeline

by Ben Shaw

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1.
The Late Set 04:51
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On the edge of a parking lot Trying to find the strength to go in So I can unburden my aching heart And my shift can begin I fill the late set on Thursday night Playing songs that all sound the same Strumming guitar for the dim lights and hound dogs Who think it’s funny to mispronounce my name Sip of whiskey on the table Keeps my voice low and my head high Next to a tip jar I labeled That promises a love song for a five It hasn’t always been strip mall pubs In a town no one knows Took a chance on a life I could love But I saw how far dreams could go Played my hand down in New Orleans They kicked my ass to L.A. Made my last stand in Kansas City They sent me crawling back to where I came Thought I was made for the gamble That I was ready for the game But it was more than I could handle Besides, most clubs are the same anyway So I settle for good enough Because it gets me through today Tomorrow I know they’ll be sure to come Brighter nights are coming my way Try to stay mindful of the time I got left As I watch the bar start to close down I got one more song to go in my set So I hope that my soul will be found Soon I’ll be dining on city lights Beneath marquees with my name For now I’m counting my money on the bar Eating cold chicken under green fluorescent shades But I’m more than a bar tab And a guitar on a stool Bigger than this untethered heart Singing about dreams like a fool
2.
Madeline 04:41
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I was a beauty queen at seventeen Planning life by quizzes in magazines Now I hand out receipts for gasoline At the filling station off of exit three Selling cigarettes and coffee rolls Faded maps showing only local roads Behind the glass in a booth all alone I see that young girl reflected in an old woman’s clothes How do I tell Madeline that I think it’s time she moved on The better life that she had in mind for us Well, that fairytale is all gone But I still put on the dress and try to impress The girl in the mirror who knew she was worth more than this Tell her it still fits, and that if I wanted I could quit this job Give her the world that she thought would exist Midnight comes as the cars all go The only people around are on the radio I try not to think of all the cash in the drawer Because I ain’t looking for that kind of trouble anymore How do I tell Madeline that I think it’s time she moved on It’s not going to turn out the way that you’d like But it’s good enough to carry you along But I still put on the dress and try to impress The girl in the mirror who knew she was worth more than this Tell her it still fits, and that if I wanted I could quit this job Give her the world that she thought would exist Someday I’ll wear it to work and I’ll put on my crown Twirl in the booth while I make change Do my routine for people heading through town Then I’ll blow them a kiss as they’re pulling away But I still put on the dress and try to impress The girl in the mirror who knew she was worth more than this Tell her it still fits, and that if I wanted I could quit this job Give her the world that she thought would exist
3.
Loans On Love 04:23
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Told you once, told you twice You chose not to take advice from me Told you three times, thought you'd learn You can't change the direction that we turn By running in place, the world can't keep pace You lean to speak but hesitate, the time wasn't right It's hard to see you in any other light Than the one that hangs above your bed Although this diner may be brighter Makes it easier to hide behind your Sense of righteous sympathy Sarcasm seemed like your domain With each joke your interest wains for me The mask you have looks awful tight Trick is that you wear it right I can see your hair, tells me that you're under there Try to say your face is bare but I swear I see string It's hard to see you in any other life Than the one I pictured in my head Though I still witness it in images and quoted lines Feels empty when it isn't you and me But I keep holding on Waiting by my phone Taking loans on love when its overdrawn And yeah I know you're gone Doesn't mean I've figured out how to be alone
4.
Hurricane 03:24
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I see the pillars rusting this bridge coming down If the water gets higher it’s going bring us to the ground But no one will believe it because they cover their eyes Saying it’s impossible for rivers to rise Act like they don’t see it rushing over the side Hoping their misfortune is going to shift away with the tide Hurricane is coming going to run through the town Thunder shakes the people with a rumbling sound But they deny the rain that’s falling down from the sky Saying they don’t buy it because their ankles are dry Maybe when the flood is here they’ll start asking why But drowning on the bottom must be easier than admitting the lie Don’t they know Engines don’t turn over when there’s mud in the oil Water doesn’t burn you until it comes to a boil Hunger comes on faster when the food goes to spoil And if you don’t move where you stand then floodwaters are going to destroy you Hurricane is coming
5.
A Better Game 05:09
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Sunlight is fading As the rain sets in Streetlights cut the dark sky On the sidewalk again I’m laying on the corner To see the world bend Trying to generate a way to play a better game Because if it’s all same then I’ll never figure it out Neon in my eyes Don’t know how long All I see is shattered glass in a paper bag Next to a man gone wrong Now the pavement grabs my skin As I drag myself along Trying to stay hazy for the day to keep my mind at bay Because if it’s all same then I’ll never figure it out So let the rain pour down Break the umbrella in two If water cleanses muddy souls Then I want to feel that too But I can smell the old coat Of a man I once knew Now I’m praying for the rain to wash his scent away Because if it’s all same then I’ll never get myself out Trying to generate a way to play a better game Because if it’s all same then I’m never going to figure it out
6.
Silhouette 04:31
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I watch you dance among midnight shadows Humming along to a tune that isn’t there Swaying on your feet past broken windows Light reflecting off the glass flickers through your hair It was buried in my heart without a warning Under muscle, bone, and fire in between Your silhouette alone on the street performing With open hands reaching out to me It’s you that everybody’s talking about when they sing the blues It’s you that all the ballads in the world offer as their muse Each poem that exists, each quivering lip that’s kissed Owes a debt of gratitude to you You take my hand and lead me beneath the red light The scattered glass crunching under our feet Shining all around like crimson starlight We close our eyes while cars pass by us dancing in the street When the sun comes up we’ll turn this dreamworld over To open shops and parking lots again But for now this dance floor’s ours so we move closer Hoping that this red light never ends It’s you that everybody’s talking about when they sing the blues It’s you that all the ballads in the world offer as their muse Each moment that exists, each quivering lip that’s kissed Owes a debt of gratitude to you
7.
On The Day 04:22
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On the day I die the sun will rise Though you wipe tears from your eyes Flowers bloom and birds will sing Clocks will chime and phones will ring People waiting for their train Watch forecasters predicting rain When you put me in the ground The world will still be whirling round Lights turn on and leaves will fall Bills are payed and cars will stall Coffee still will burn your tongue Even though my time is done When there’s nothing more to do There’ll be nothing more to say You’ll eat good food and stretch your hands Learn guitar and make new plans While I lay here in my grave And you go on with your day I hope you’re smiling And you know I’m smiling Because you’ll be smiling on your way
8.
Tomorrow 05:33
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Broken glass upon the barroom floor Fallen from your shaking hand You hold a finger up to order more Bartender waves off your demand People talking like they know it all They see the trouble in your eyes You shrug it off, take your coat from on the wall Leave them with fairytales and lies But you promise that tomorrow You’ll tell them what you need to say Every breath of joy or sorrow You just don’t have the words today But you can’t have the scar without the pain Can’t reap the flowers without feeling the rain You want to sing the blues but won’t let the music play You can’t take a part away and hope the rest will stay You search the alley for used cigarettes Hoping that a few will light Fill your lungs, trying to forget Spitting rock salt at the night Looking down at all your tattoos as they fade Faint memories of lovers scorned All the roses that surround their names Drop the petals, leave the thorns And you promise that tomorrow You’ll get back what you threw away Whether beg or steal or borrow You just need a God damn break today But you can’t have the scar without the pain Can’t reap the flowers without feeling the rain You want to sing the blues but won’t let the music play You can’t take a part away and hope the rest will stay
9.
The Trials 03:11
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Here’s to the trials, here’s to those who found their way, Those in revival, And those who’ve lived through their last day Here we stand trying to wipe the egg from our faces Hoping we don’t end up branded by the hell we raised The trail was tough. A mix of mud and gravel road More than enough to drive away lesser souls But you stuck it out and tried to fill that ditch Came on out the other side one surly son of a bitch Who gave up embraced your burden long ago Topped off your cup with venom that you didn’t know As the stones around you shift beneath your feet You fell to the bottom where the air is rotten and you only have pride to eat Here’s to the trials, here’s to those who found their way, Those in revival, And those who’ve lived through their last day Here we stand trying to wipe the egg from our faces Hoping we don’t end up branded by the hell we raised Now the cup you hold is full of water And you don’t let the old shit bother you You know living clean will get you farther There’s a voice inside going to make it harder Drag you back to the rock and make you holler But even if you waiver you still have honor Because you don’t need a collar to get a little faith in you So raise a glass to the aftermath of the fury that you wrought Throw it back to toast the battles that you fought If some should miss your lips then let it slip and purify the ground Now the path we walk is sanctified so here’s to the next round Here’s to the trials, here’s to those who found their way, Those in revival, And those who’ve lived through their last day Here we stand trying to wipe the egg from our faces Hoping we don’t end up branded by the hell we raised

credits

released December 9, 2022

Music and lyrics by Ben Shaw

Ben Shaw - voice, acoustic guitar, saxophones, piano
Mark Medeiros - electric guitar
Will Evans - piano
Matt Passeroni - electric bass
Ryan Kowal - percussion
Dylan LaGamma - upright bass
Brian St. Pierre - drums

Recorded at Big Nice Studio (Lincoln, RI)
Engineered, mixed, and mastered by Bradford Krieger

Photos by Madison Van Wylen
Design assistance from Shelley Shaw

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Ben Shaw Rhode Island

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